Dont jokes

Tell me a joke about my hairline.

No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.

Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!

But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3

Hey guys, it's Hailey here.

I'ma start off with henlo ;-;

I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.

So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.

Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.

I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.

Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;

I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.

I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.

Me: Knock, knock.

Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?

I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Queen.

Queen who?

You don't know the queen? You're crazy!

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

1+1=3

If you don't use a condom.

You go h dichotomy lol what do you want to what what’s the name for the address for sure what’s what I name it says I name it lol I don’t o I have to get r CB n nu set set e Okay okay I’ll be at my place.

Why do women rub their eyebrows? They don't got balls to scratch!

Why don’t I shut myself all the time?

I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.

Why don’t I like shafting?

It feels squishy.

My pencil sharpener when I bleed:

And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.

Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?

I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.

I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.

I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.

What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."

What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?

I don't know.

Neither do I, but it runs in the family.

They don't call priests "daddy," they call me daddy.