Dont jokes

I don't got free candy. It costs child support.

Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.

How does a disabled person play chess?

I think you forgot they don't have legs.

I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.

Wife: "You don't even have friends!"

I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.

I don't know why, but every 911 joke I've heard always comes crashing down.

Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?

That's what happened to my dog.

Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!

"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."

I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.

If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.

Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.

We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"

Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡

How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:

1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝

These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.

The Good Old Days.

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."

Why don't orphans have a site page?

Because there's no home page.

I don't like Twin Tower jokes. They always tend to crash and burn.

Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."

Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!

Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.

Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?

Because they're the ones who made the toys.