Dont

Dont jokes

Steak

    • Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”

    Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”

    Chef: “Why thank you.”

    Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”

    Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”

    Miscarriage

    • One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"

    Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."

    "Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"

    "Maybe it was a tricycle."

    "Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"

    The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"

    Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."

    That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"

    Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"

    Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."

    Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"

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    • Time

    • I swear bro, this time I don't want any jokes on 9/11. Like people actually died, like that shit is just plane wrong. 💀

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    • Chess

    • How does a disabled person play chess?

    I think you forgot they don't have legs.

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    • Friend

    • I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.

    Wife: "You don't even have friends!"

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    • Friend

    • I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.

    Necrophilia

    • Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?

    That's what happened to my dog.

  • 6

    • Ball

    • Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!

    Plane

    • "Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."

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    • Penaldo

    • Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.

    We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"

    Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡

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    • Step

    • How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:

    1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝

    These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.

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    • Stuff

    • The Good Old Days.

    You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

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