Dont jokes
When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.
I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
Tell me a joke about my hairline.
No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.
Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!
But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3
Hey guys, it's Hailey here.
I'ma start off with henlo ;-;
I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.
So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.
Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.
I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.
Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;
I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.
I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.
Me: Knock, knock.
Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?
I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
1+1=3
If you don't use a condom.
You go h dichotomy lol what do you want to what what’s the name for the address for sure what’s what I name it says I name it lol I don’t o I have to get r CB n nu set set e Okay okay I’ll be at my place.
Why do women rub their eyebrows? They don't got balls to scratch!
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
Why don’t I like shafting?
It feels squishy.
My pencil sharpener when I bleed:
And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.
Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?
I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.