Dont jokes
Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.
Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.
So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...
Person 1: How smart are you?
Person 2: Really smart.
Person 1: Ok. If you have 3 ghosts and take away 2, how many are left?
Person 2: 1 ghost is left.
Person 1: Wrong! 0 ghosts are left because ghosts don't exist!
GIVEAWAAAAAAY!!!
Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it? And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!
You don't have any balls.
I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.
Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you want sex.
Boyfriend: No, I don't.
NEXT MINUTE
The man could hear banging.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
Why can't orphans go to family restaurants?
Because they don't have a family to go with.
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.
Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.
Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.
I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.
Coronavirus walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Gimme a shot of whiskey, will ya?"
The bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve viruses here."
Corona replies, "Well, you're not a very good host."
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
A man comes home and hears his wife talking about having sex at the club. The man busts into the club with a revolver and says, "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE?" Well, everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets."