Don't-know jokes

Roses are red,

I don't know what is brass.

I tell myself,

"Don't touch grass."

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"

Why can't orphans play poker?

They don't know what a full house is.

Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?

What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.

P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.

Sometimes orphans can't win spelling bees because they don't know how to spell "home."

I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

I don't know, but it's coming for the towers.

I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.

Why are orphans bad at Yahtzee?

They don't know what a house is.

Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?

Bubbles:...

Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.

Alabama: 😈

One day, the Pope is coming to America in his limo, and he said to the driver, "Why don’t you let me drive for once?"

The driver thinks to himself, "Well, I can’t say no to this guy; he’s the Pope." So the driver pulls over, and they change places. The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while, the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, "Slow down a bit; you might get pulled over."

The Pope says, "Ahhh, don’t worry about it; I’m the Pope." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments, he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car, and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, "Oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?"

The Pope says, "Sure." The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "Guys, I just pulled over someone really important."

They ask who, "The President?"

"No, more important."

"The president of another country?"

"No, more important."

"An ambassador?"

"No, even more important."

"Well, who is it?"

"I don’t know, but the Pope is the chauffeur."

Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.

Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?

Kid: I don't know.

Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.

Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.

*Officer arrests Elmo*

Elmo: But who wants tickles?

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, he can't tell me.

The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied, so I encouraged him to stand up for himself. I don't know why he started crying.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

I don't know, but the Twin Towers do.

Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?

Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.

Mom: Excuse me?

Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?

I don’t know and I don’t care.

I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.

What's the difference between an umbrella and a tree?

I don't know.

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?

I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.