Dog jokes
Dad fucked Mom.
Mom fucked son.
Son fucked sister.
Sister fucked dog.
Dog fucked cat.
Cat fucked bird.
Bird fucked fish.
Fish fucked Dad.
Dad really liked it!
What is a Mexican's favorite type of dog?
A Chihuahua.
Black dog is gay.
A German, a Swiss, and a Russian make a bet: whoever has the most forest area in their country wins about 10,000 euros.
First, they fly over Switzerland: 8,000 square kilometers of forest. The German starts getting cold feet, as he doesn't think he'll win. Next, they fly over Russia: 50,000 square kilometers of forest. The German realizes he doesn't stand a chance unless he cheats.
When they fly over Germany, they see 10,000 square kilometers of forest. The German seems to have won, but then the Swiss shouts: "That's a tree!" The German was accused of fraud.
The German is furious. He calls the head of the Bundeswehr: "Why did the tree move?!" The boss said, "I'll put the guy who moved on the line," and passed the receiver over.
"Why did you move?" the German asked.
The young man replied: "Okay, when a dog came along and peed on my trunk, that was still fine. But then a bear came along and rubbed against my trunk..."
Aliana is so fat, she can't fit through a hula hoop.
A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
What da dog doin'?
Why do you stink?
Because you haven't showered, tu, perro.
How do you stop a school shooter from killing you?
Tell him you don’t believe in dog.
What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?
Redd Foxx.
Did you adopt your dog?
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?