Dog jokes

What is a Mexican's favorite type of dog?

A Chihuahua.

Black dog is gay.

Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.

How do you stop a school shooter from killing you?

Tell him you don’t believe in dog.

Did you adopt your dog?

A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.

What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?

The dog knows when to stop scratching.

A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!

What da dog doin'?

Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?

Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?

Aliana is so fat, she can't fit through a hula hoop.

Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?

Dog toys are getting out of control.

My mum's dog has a round bison bone.

Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.

Why do you stink?

Because you haven't showered, tu, perro.

How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.

How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?

'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.

If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?

"Ghost Musterd."

What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?

Redd Foxx.

A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"

A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"

"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."

"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"

"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."