A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"
Dog Jokes
A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"
"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."
"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"
"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
When my dog starts to bark, he starts to get ruff.
A girl said she liked dogs. I called her a bitch.
My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Terrible!
A family had a very disobedient dog. It would bite the children’s hands when they pet the animal, the dog would piss on everything, and it would chew their shoes. This is why it was adopted.
What’s white and sticky? A white man's penis after taking care of his neighbor's dog.
Why did I shoot my dog?
Because it pissed me offff! Ahhhhhahahahahahahahahaha! 👌👌😎
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.
My friend made a joke about a dog. I said it was a "RUFF" joke.
You want to know what annoying people and dogs have in common.
The female ones are called "bitch."
How do you know an abo robbed your house?
The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.
"Meow, meow, I'm a dog," said the sped kid.
What will Sarah Thompson (Ninja Steel Pink) do if she meets the ToQgers (Train Super Sentai)?
They will TRAIN together.
Why is it so hard to tame a dog?
Because it's unTRAINable!
What do squirrels eat at the fair? A-corn dog.
What do women and dog turds have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Times have been so tough lately, I have had to jerk off the dog just to feed the cat.
Did you know that dogs started the street craps game?
