Dog jokes
Q: What breed of dog is supposed to laugh at all of your jokes?
A: A Chihuahua.
Toby Fox.
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.
Where do dogs go when their tails fall off?
To the retail store.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
What do you call a dog wearing a beret?
Smeargle!
I hate it when I accidentally eat out my dog, lol.
What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily the Husky were talking at Bob's house.
Lily: Bob, do you think I'm fat?
Bob: No, Lily, of course not! You're just a little husky!!!! Lol. Golden Retrievers are funny.
Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street."
Chihuahua?
What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
My dog got stuck in my ass, help!
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.
I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)
What do you call an Italian dog?
A labra-noodle.