"How was your day?" "It was great" "what was so great about it?" "i saw a puppy" "awww" "and i ran over it :)"
Friend: I got bit Other friend: By what? Friend : A dog Other friend :( Runs away and the next day you know everyone is wearing a mask and the friend gets expelled because of rabies )
what do you call dog that's faced backwards a god
What do you call a cross between a priest and a child? The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!
A women walkes into a supermarket and sees a blined man swing a dog around in the air so the women walkes up to him and asked "what what are you doing" the man says " just having a look round"
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
What do u get when u cross a stick and a dog a run away joke...
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.
An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
What do you call a dog with no legs?? ...you cant call it anything. It won't vome to you
Women are like dogs... "Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?" "Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?" "I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."
SHOES
I went outside to catch some dog but I mist
How does the dog dance? He doesn't...he's dead
What’s white and sticky? A white mans penis after taking care of his neighbours dog
a hot dog and a banana had a race who won
the WIENER
wha can you tella dog, but not your girlfriend..? come
I left my dog at home once and when I came home it was a mess, lets say I was in a RUFF situation
One dog said to the other dog “man it is hard sleeping on the floor” the other said “really?” “ i like my bed”
I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "autistic child zone". Then I thought to myself Oh shit that wasn't a dog!
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist? At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
