DOE jokes

Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?

'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.

How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.

I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.

Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.

What does a blind man and your dick have in common?

They both can’t get up without a dog.

1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!

Dad: Oh, OK!

2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.

Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?

Son: I do...

What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?

Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.

What do a deaf person and an orphan have in common? Neither of them can hear their parents.

Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?

They never look down on anyone.

What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?

"Can I have a bodybag?"

What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?

Legs.

What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?

A toaster.

When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?

When he is on the train.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?

Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.

How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.

Why does Saturn have a ring?

Because God liked it, so he put a ring on it.

What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?

A bat.

Why does the orphan eat water with cereal?

Mom forgot to come back with the milk.

Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?

“Good evening, ladies.”