DOE jokes
What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"
"Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?
What does LMAO mean? Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
What does an Asian doorbell sound like?
"Wing wong wung wang, wong wang wing wong!"
What food does a Cheetah eat?
Cheetos!
What does the depressed person say to the happy person?
"Damn, I wish I was on the stuff you're on, lol."
What is yellow and does not float well?
A school bus.
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
NASA's response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
Arinator's response: National Ariana and Space Ariana.
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣
How does a blonde turn the light off after sex?
She closes the car door.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
Q: What does Pakistan love to do with India when they go to war?
A: Surrender their 93,000 soldiers.
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?
Both stare off into space.