DOE jokes
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
What does NASA stand for?
Need a star A.S.A.P.!
It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.
But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
You wanna hear a joke?
Two Emos hanging out under a tree.
How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!
What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.
Why does Sally hate herself? Because Sophie stole her boy.
Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.
Why can’t Sally hang herself?
She does not have arms.
What does BLM stand for?
Biden loves millennials.
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
Why does former president Donald J. Trump still want the Mexican government to help him to build a wall to keep them out because he is a Christian nationalist on steroids?
what game does an emo love?
Hangman.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.