DOE jokes

Why does the Queen have more mobility than the King in chess?

Because it's shaped like the kitchen floor.

Why does rapeboat like going to the dog shelter? It's cheaper than a whore house.

Why does Fallout look like Ohio?

Germany does a backflip. America: What is happening?

France: Want a baguette?

USSR: Help!

Why does everyone call me racist?

My shadow is black.

Why does an orphan go to church?

So they can call someone "father."

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.

How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?

Apparently not enough to impress him.

What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?

Prison FC

Why does no one sit next to a cheetah during school? Because they're a big cheetah.

How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?

In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.

What does an orphan and a female's mouth have in common?

They take in 100's of kids.

What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?

They can't reach 30.

One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.

Why does an orphan play mum and dad?

'Cause they need self-love.

Does anyone else like Tacos? C'mon let's Taco 'bout it!!! :p Hey, Tacos are made of atoms too......

How does NASA organize their parties? They planet.

So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.

When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.

How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?

Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.

How does a turkey drive a car? He wings it.