DOE jokes
What does an orphan call a family picture?
Answer: a selfie.
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What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
Memes
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
What do the initials CIA stand for?
Central Intelligence of A**holes.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.
What kind of bride does the pedo icon like? A "maik order" bride. Why? The male part.
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?
We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.
What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?
"Hello, ladies!"