DOE jokes
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
How does cheese rat cheese?
It cheeses.
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? It stands for family.
What does an orphan call a family portrait?
A selfie.
Memes
How does a tree access the internet?
By logging in and branching out!
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
Why does an orphan cry on Thanksgiving?
Family gathering.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
Answer: a selfie.
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What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?
We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.