Iβd roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.
DOE Jokes
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.
How many Emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They all just sit in the dark and cry.
Why does an orphan's calendar only have 362 days? Because they don't celebrate Father's Day, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day.
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back...
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
Does an orphanage have daddy issues?
Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you donβt know how to use a pistol? Look, Iβll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasnβt a very good demonstration.
Man A: "Is Google male or female?"
Man B: "Female, because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion."
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
What does an orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.
What does LMAO stand for?
Launching Moms At Orphans.
