DOE jokes
Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.
What does the cent say when it says hello? It waves.
What do the initials FEMA stand for?
Federal Erection Management Agency.
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
Because he only comes once a year.
What game does a suicidal person who is very bad at word or guessing games love?
Hangman.
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.
What does McDonald's and a paedophile have in common?
They both like sticking their meat in ten-year-olds.
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.
What does the mom (or terrorists, fuck that) say for the (twin) towers to eat?
Open wide, here comes the plane!
How many times does 47 fit into 9?
Get in the van and find out.
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.
Why does Trump "not" wear glasses? Because he's got 20/20 vision!
"Sticks and stones break my bones."
A crowbar does it so much quicker.
What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?
They can't reach 30.
How does an emo kid compliment one another?
Like your cuts, G.
How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?
Not 15, as my basement's still dark.