DOE jokes
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
Memes
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
What do the initials CIA stand for?
Central Intelligence of A**holes.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?
"Hello, ladies!"
Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.
What does an orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.
What does LMAO stand for?
Launching Moms At Orphans.
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
How many Emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They all just sit in the dark and cry.
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."