DOE jokes
Q: What gun does Africa not have?
A: Water gun.
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!
What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming";)
Q: Why does Pewdiepie prefer knives over guns?
A: Because knives don't have barrels.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spareribs!
I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
How many bisexuals does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends, are you AC or DC? However many turn you on.
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
Q. How much cum does a gay guy have?
A. A butt load.
Why can black people post offensive jokes about making fun of white people, but white people can't post offensive jokes about making fun of black people? Because white people have white privilege. Does it cycle?
"Does this make any cents?" a man says.
"Oh, it does make cents," me. <-- thing: Lemin"aid" <-- another joke.
What does Jesus do when he gets nervous? He bites his nails.
Why does Helen Keller look in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
Q: If an electric train heads south, which way does the steam go?
A: No steam.
How many South Africans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazilian.
Why does a Mexican want to learn math?
To study perimeter.