DOE jokes
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"
What does a glory hole and a confessional booth have in common?
A blowjob is anonymous.
What does a clock do when he's still hungry? He goes back "four" seconds!
What does a lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
"Same time next month?"
What does a Mexican not like in their drink? Ice.
Why does Africa have no pharmacies? Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?
So the police can see that he’s white.
What does a furry call a sexy furry?
A foxy lady!
In chess, why does the queen have more mobility than the king?
Because the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor.
How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That is the electrician's job. I am a specialist.
How many software engineers?
Again, none. It's a hardware problem.
How many computer programmers to change a light bulb?
Two, but one resigns halfway through the project.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most? The “cold and passed out” kind.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
What does my uncle call a school?
A strip club.
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
I AM SFLUGO FOUNDER OF THE PRO ORPHAN JOKE CLUB. Just want to say that people spamming does nothing and we will keep making our jokes!! #SaveOrphanJokes and please say in the comments if you want to join the club.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".
Where does Captain Hook buy his hook?
At a second-hand store.