DOE jokes
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
What do you call a daredevil Weedle who does stunts on a motorcycle?
Weedle Knievel.
There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?
He's Dahmer's son @domink.
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
If lint comes from pockets, where does a cockroach come from?
Memes
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
Where does the banana learn to split? At Sunday school.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
Why does an orphan go to a sewer?
So it can wash up.
What type of flower does an orphan use?
Self-raising flour.
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
What kind of bride does the pedo icon like? A "maik order" bride. Why? The male part.