DOE jokes
What does an orphan call a family picture?
Answer: a selfie.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends how hard you can throw.
Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?
Because they have a break down.
Why does an orphan cry on Thanksgiving?
Family gathering.
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.
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What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!
What does every pirate hate?
A small chest with no booty.
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
What does a gay guy and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go...woo woo woo.
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
What does an orphan and Spider-Man have in common?
They have no "why home" 👹
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry.