DOE jokes
There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?
He's Dahmer's son @domink.
Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?
I wanna kick some balls!
What do Myspace and my dad have in common?
I haven't seen them in a while.
What does a pig call its dad... mom? 😂
Memes
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."
Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
How does cheese rat cheese?
It cheeses.
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? It stands for family.
What does an orphan call a family portrait?
A selfie.
How does a tree access the internet?
By logging in and branching out!
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
Why does an orphan cry on Thanksgiving?
Family gathering.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.