DOE jokes
Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?
Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
If I die, does my depression die with me?
Memes
What do the initials POOP stand for?
Polacks Order Our Poop. 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
What do the initials CIA stand for?
Central Intelligence of A**holes.