DOE jokes
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends...
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is, "Dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
I added Paul Walker on my Xbox, but all he does is sit on the dashboard.
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
Memes
Why does an orphan play GTA to be wanted? 😂😭
How does a priest purify water?
Boil the hell out of it!
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
I made an orphan website. It does not have a home page.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
What does 2016 and 2020 have in common?
A monkey caused worldwide outrage.
Why does Hitler need glasses?
Because he could Nazi.
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Egg surprise!
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other one, "Does this taste funny to you?"
What does a chicken give you?
Student: Meat.
What does a pig give you?
Student: Bacon.
What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework.
Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?
He should just go to his mom and dad!
Why do orphans only have Samsung's? Because they don't have a home button.
What does a gay horse eat?
Haaaaaaay!