DOE jokes
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.
A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"
The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"
How does an emo greet people?
“What’s down?”
Why can’t Germans call a taxi? *does taxi calling motion*
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?
I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?
With a degree!
What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?
"9 Juan Juan, who this?"
How many emos does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, because they just cry in the darkness.
What does Joker say when someone gets angry at him for not liking oats?
"Hey, why so cereal?"
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
What does a blind man and a PS4 have in common?
They both need to make sounds to be recognized.
Where does bad light end up at?
In prism.
How does a cow introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
Why does an orphan have an iPhone X?
Because they have no home button.
GUY 1: How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
GUY 2: Depends on how hard you throw them.
What kind of experience does a feminazi have for being a feminist?
Being a bitch.
Q: If an electric train heads south, which way does the steam go?
A: No steam.
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
Q: How many aborted babies does it take to paint a house?
A: Depends on how hard you throw them.
What does a skeleton say when he has lots of work?
"I have a ton of work, skele-ton."