DOE jokes
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with a bull? They both charge.
What does a rock and a girl have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
Teacher: What does the pig give us? Student: Bacon.
Teacher: Very good. How about the chicken? Student: Meat.
Teacher: Good, now what would a fat cow give you? Student: Homework.
So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"
What does Michael Jackson like about 28 year olds? There's 20 of them!
Memes
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man that is homophobic into giving him a brojob?
The gay man puts mustard on his dick and then puts his dick inside a glory hole.
How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.
What does my head and hell have in common?
They both have demons in them.
I would roast you, but your mirror does it every time you look into it.
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
Why does a married heterosexual man want an anonymous blowjob at a glory hole inside an adult bookstore?
Because he doesn't want his wife to find out that he got a blowjob from another man.
YOOO, does anyone need an ark? I know a guy!
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A buccaneer!
How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"