DOE jokes
When does Stephen Hawking cross the road?
When it says "DON'T WALK."
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but they're very tiny and we're not sure how they got in there.
What does Marine stand for?
Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Expected.
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
Why does a blind man still have eyes?
So he can see that he can't see.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?
"What does this button do...?"
Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?
So she can moan with her right hand.
What does an Emo do with his friends?
Literally hanging out.
Why does an orphan eat cereal with water? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
Who does an orphan play soccer with?
No one.
Technoblade: It is high vitamin B.
Quackiity: What does vitamin B stand for?
Technoblade: Broke.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
Does it cycle now? 🚲
What store does an orphan always get kicked out of?
Home Depot.
What does a gun and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.