DOE jokes
Why does the Avon lady walk funny?
Because her lipstick!
One Tuesday afternoon, Little Jonny decides he wants extra homework, so he went to his teacher and said, "Hello, can I have extra homework this week?"
The teacher replied with, "Sure, be at my house Friday afternoon to cut my lawn, polish the counters, scrub the baseboards, scrub and paint the walls!"
And Johnny replied with, "That's not what I meant, but at least I'll get paid!"
The teacher said, "How about $200 each job?"
Johnny replied with, "OK."
Friday afternoon at her house, after Johnny does all the jobs, he asked for his payment and the teacher laughed and said, "You do know that Tuesday was April Fools' Day, right?"
How does a rapper apologize?
With a rap-ology!
What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?
Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?
Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.
Fat guy: Thinking.
What does cake and baseball have in common?
They both need a batter.
What does the M and D in "orphan" stand for?
"Mum" and "Dad."
What does lmao mean? Laughing miles.
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
What meme does an Emo hate the most?
"Happy Happy Joy Joy" Peter Griffin.
What does an orphan do on school parents' day? Nothing.
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Joy.
What time does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.
What do frogs wear for shoes? Open toad.
What does your mom say to you? "Love you, moody."
What does a baby computer call its father? Data.
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"
Why does fireman wear red suspenders?
To hold his pants up.
When a redhead commits a mass shooting, does the headline read, "Ginger snaps"?
What kind of ball does Amy Rose like? Blue balls.