DOE jokes
Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?
For Hispanic attacks!
What does a spy do when he's cold?
He goes under cover.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
Memes
What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? -- "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."
How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play ping pong or table tennis? He likes to play with the little balls.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they all beat the room for being black.
Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.
The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.
Q. How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?
A. Depends how thin you slice them.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.