What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out
How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.
What does five dicks sticking out of the glory holes and five udders both have in common? they are ready for milking
Why kind of experience does a feminist have? being a bitch
What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?
At least one does something when it is triggered.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? -- They both want to get there before the hare does.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? they both start at 12.
Q: what does LMAO mean?
A: Launching Missiles At Orphanages
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
What does a crippled person's legs and the twin towers have in common, they both went down and never came back up
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
what type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole:
A pedophile
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see then tumbling down the stairs.
How many Police Officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine
