DOE jokes
How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
What does the Gay Garlic do when it gets hot? It takes it's CLOVES off. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Like if you LOL every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They're both turned on by kids.
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
Why does an orphan’s calendar only have 363 days?
There are no Father’s or Mother’s Days on their calendar.
what game does an emo love?
Hangman.
Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.
I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.
I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."
He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"
"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."
What song does Saturn sing?
"If you like it then you should have put a ring on it."
So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
How does NASA organise a party?
They ‘PLANET’.
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
How many babies does it take to light up a basement?
I don't know, my basement is still dark.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone!
Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandma's dead.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...