DOE jokes
What song does Saturn sing?
"If you like it then you should have put a ring on it."
So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
How does NASA organise a party?
They ‘PLANET’.
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
How many babies does it take to light up a basement?
I don't know, my basement is still dark.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone!
Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandma's dead.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
What does a bouncy airplane sound like?
Boeing Boeing Boeing...
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
What does Santa say about my mom? HO HO HO!
What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?
They’re both hanging in the closet.
What does lmao mean?
Launch Missiles at orphanage.