DOE jokes
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
Why does an orphan go to a sewer?
So it can wash up.
What type of flower does an orphan use?
Self-raising flour.
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
Memes
What does an orphan and Spider-Man have in common?
They have no "why home" 👹
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry.
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?
Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.