DOE jokes

Dad

What do Myspace and my dad have in common?

I haven't seen them in a while.

Orphan

Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."

Pizza

Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?

A: They're both cheesy.

Memes

Child

My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Shooting

If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?

Cannibal

What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?

"Who are you wearing?"

Tree

How does a tree access the internet?

By logging in and branching out!

Phone

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)

Grenade

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make noise after you throw them.

Lightbulb

How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?

Not 15, as my basement's still dark.

Emo kid

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they are all crying in a dark corner.