DOE jokes
What do Myspace and my dad have in common?
I haven't seen them in a while.
Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."
Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
Memes
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
How does a tree access the internet?
By logging in and branching out!
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
How does cheese rat cheese?
It cheeses.
What does an orphan call a family portrait?
A selfie.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make noise after you throw them.
I made a website for orphans; it does not have home pages, though.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
Where does the banana learn to split? At Sunday school.
If lint comes from pockets, where does a cockroach come from?
How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?
Not 15, as my basement's still dark.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they are all crying in a dark corner.