DOE jokes
Does anyone know the song that goes like:
Nananana na na na, nananana na na na, nananana na, na na, na, na na na?
What's worse than depression & suicide?
Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.
Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off.
Okay, moving on, you took too long. How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply:* Idk how many)
3: Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply:* 3...)
Wrong, 4: Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
Why did Sully fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
Did you know that "girlfriend" at the end, it starts with "end." So does "boyfriend," and "friend" have "end" at the end of it, but "family" at the end it "ily" I love you.
What does this joke and half a deck of cards have in common? You can't even deal with it!
How does NASA organize their parties? They planet.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone!
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
What does Marine stand for?
My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.
Why does my dad hate me? Really, please tell me, I'm tired of the constant abuse and pain.
What award does the Demogorgon get? A Emmygorgon.
How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer!
What is the difference between a microwave and a basket?
The microwave oven does not explode within the set time.
So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing eye dog.
When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Shin-gles!
What does Stephen Hawking eat?
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"