DOE jokes
How does Jesus whistle? Through the hole in his hand.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!
Teacher: What does a cow say?
Susie: Moo.
Teacher: Good. Now what does a duck say?
Jimmy: The duck goes quack.
Teacher: Now what does a pig say?
Little Jonny: A pig says, "Get up against the wall, you black motherfucker!"
What does NASA stand for?
Neil Armweak Sorry Armstrong.
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
What kind of bride does the pedo icon like? A "maik order" bride. Why? The male part.
Q. How does an emo scratch an itch? A. With a razor blade.
What does every pirate hate?
A small chest with no booty.
Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.
What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
Someone didn’t pull it out in time.
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.
What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!
Why does an orphan go to a sewer?
So it can wash up.
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?
Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.