DOE jokes
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
Why does an orphan go to a sewer?
So it can wash up.
Memes
Pokémon
What type of flower does an orphan use?
Self-raising flour.
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
What does an orphan and Spider-Man have in common?
They have no "why home" 👹
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry.
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
What do the initials FBI stand for?
Federal Bureau of Idiots.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.