DOE jokes
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand-up.
What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?
The sea.
Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
What do food and dark humor have in common? Some people don’t get it.
"we are not the same"🖕🗿🖕
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
Why does the Catholic Church have a glory hole inside the confessional booth?
So a priest can give an anonymous blowjob to another bisexual man, or a gay man, or a heterosexual man that has a big dick after the priest hears their confession.
What does the 'w' in Africa stand for? Water.
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?
None, because they all cry in the dark.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.