DOE jokes
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
Why does rapeboat like going to the dog shelter? It's cheaper than a whore house.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
Why does an orphan start with an "O"?
Because they only see their parents in their dream.
Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.
What does every arsehole and Tory have in common?
They all produce horrible shit.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
More than five because my basement is still dark.
Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?
Allah's snackbar!
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
What does NASA stand for?
Nose and smelly astronauts.
What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.
What is the craziest thing an Indian man does for sex?
Marriage.
What does Stephen Hawking have for food?
What kind of bride does the pedo icon like? A "maik order" bride. Why? The male part.
I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."
How does she know I have that?
What does a rain cloud wear under her dress?
Thunderwear.
How does a tree get online? They log in.
Why does everyone call me racist?
My shadow is black.
What does a pencil and a plan have in common?
They were both in the Twin Towers.