DOE jokes
What does the 'w' in Africa stand for? Water.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?
None, because they all cry in the dark.
Memes
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?
So the police can see that he’s white.
Why does Michael Jackson like spaghetti? He likes the little meatballs.
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
What does the suicidal person say on New Years?
"New year, no me."
What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?
They're both dead...
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
Where does the keyboard go to dinner? The space bar.
What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
Michael Jackson broke his window. What does he say? "I can't see."
Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
Why does an orphan wanna be a criminal?
Because they wanna be wanted.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.