DOE jokes
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
Memes
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?
None, because they all cry in the dark.
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
Why does Michael Jackson like spaghetti? He likes the little meatballs.
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
What does the suicidal person say on New Years?
"New year, no me."
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
It’s the premium version of gay.
Why does the military recruit orphans?
Because homing missiles don’t target them.
What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.