DOE jokes
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?
None, because they all cry in the dark.
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
It’s the premium version of gay.
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
Why does an orphan wanna be a criminal?
Because they wanna be wanted.
What does the suicidal person say on New Years?
"New year, no me."
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.