DOE jokes
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
Memes
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?
None, because they all cry in the dark.
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
Michael Jackson broke his window. What does he say? "I can't see."
Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?
They're both dead...
Why does an orphan wanna be a criminal?
Because they wanna be wanted.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
Where does the keyboard go to dinner? The space bar.
Roses are not always red, Violets are violet, not blue. Irises are never red, Petunias can be kinda blue.
What does this tell us 'cept you can't trust a poet to tell the truth.