DOE jokes
Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP.
What do food and dark humor have in common? Some people don’t get it.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
Why does this always happen to me...
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?
None, because they all cry in the dark.
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.
I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed and laughed, well, everyone except one.
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.