How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
DOE Jokes
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.
Why does an orphan wanna be a criminal?
Because they wanna be wanted.
Where does the keyboard go to dinner? The space bar.
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
Why does the military recruit orphans?
Because homing missiles don’t target them.
What does the suicidal person say on New Years?
"New year, no me."
Why does OSHA require women to wear panties?
Because every manhole needs a cover.
How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?
A minor.
What room does a ghost not want to be in?
The living room.
Michael Jackson broke his window. What does he say? "I can't see."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One if you throw it hard enough.
Why does Michael Joseph Jackson love Boise?
Because of all the boys he'll see.
Why does Michael Jackson like spaghetti? He likes the little meatballs.
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.
Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
