DOE Jokes

Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?

Why does a milking stool have 3 legs?

Because the cow has the udder one.

Why does Hitler wear glasses? Because he can Nazi without them.

What does a transgender call his/her parent?

Transparent.

Your mama is so short, she does backflips under her bed.

lol the best pokemon card ever

A Pokemon card featuring the Duolingo Owl with muscular arms. The card reads 'MEGA Epic Dulingo Owl.' The attack is 'Does 10000000 damage to your opponent by using spanish vanish attack.' Other attributes are 'Babble 10000' and 'Unstoppable.'

Why does the sky think it's so powerful?

Because it's always looking down on us.

What does Drake call his rake?

Da-Rake.

Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"

Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.

LOL

What does Michael Jackson and maths have in common? They're both hard for kids.

What car does Hitler drive?

A Fuhrerri.

A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?

On the COWch (couch).

A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?

Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.

Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it, a genie came out and said, "You have 10 seconds to have one wish." Little Johnny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family, and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink, she says, "We should have this every night!" Little Johnny gets two cups every night, one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually, he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives it to himself, and his sister asks, "Where's my cup?" Little Johnny replied, "You're drinking out of the bottle tonight."