DOE jokes
What part of a computer system does an orphan not have?
A motherboard.
What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
What does a cow say? Moo.
What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?
A toaster.
What does an apple and suicidal person have in common?
They're both hanging from a tree.
What show does an orphan hate? Family Feud.
What movie does an orphan hate?
- No Way Home.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
How does the zebra cross the road?
The zebra crossing.
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
Why does Santa come down the chimney? Because he knows he isn't allowed to come in the back door.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?
They both say "Hello children!"
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.