DOE jokes
Why does 9/11 only get a day, but Pride gets an entire month?
Because pride is a bigger tragedy.
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.
What does a house wear?
A dress.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
Memes
What does the starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?
Answer: They both circle Ur-Anus looking for Kling-Ons!
What does a cow watch?
MooTube.
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
A man was asked by his 21 years old daughter, "Dad, how do you give a blowjob to a man that has a big dick?"
Her father replied, "Honey, you should have watched me last night. It was inside my mouth. Does it cycle now?"
How does NASA organize their parties? They planet.
So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.
Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?
My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand-up.
What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?
The sea.
What does the 'w' in Africa stand for? Water.
Q. How much cum does a gay guy have?
A. A butt load.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
What do food and dark humor have in common? Some people don’t get it.