DOE jokes
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
What does the starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common?
Answer: They both circle Ur-Anus looking for Kling-Ons!
What does a cow watch?
MooTube.
A man was asked by his 21 years old daughter, "Dad, how do you give a blowjob to a man that has a big dick?"
Her father replied, "Honey, you should have watched me last night. It was inside my mouth. Does it cycle now?"
Memes
How does NASA organize their parties? They planet.
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?
My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand-up.
What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?
The sea.
Q. How much cum does a gay guy have?
A. A butt load.
What do food and dark humor have in common? Some people don’t get it.
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
What does the 'w' in Africa stand for? Water.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.