DOE jokes
What does an emo kid say to his best friend?
"Let's hang out."
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
What cigarettes does Churchill's wife like to smoke?
A blue Winston.
When does a Pentagon have 4 sides? When it's intercepted by a plane.
So I went to a church and I asked a friend, "Is the picture on the wall Jesus, and does it have three nails or one nail?" Oh wait, that's not Jesus, he is not doing the T pose that he invited.
What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:
Nothing, donkeys don't talk.
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
If chickens make chicken nuggies, does that mean dinosaur chickens make Dino nuggies?!?
CONSPIRACY!!!
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?
'Cause there are twenty of them.
What does a volcano say when it has a runny nose?
"I have runny volcanoes."
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
What does LMAO mean? Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
How do parents punish their blind kid? They move the bed.
What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.
What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
Gutted rn... the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does... man...
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
Why does an orphan play GTA?
To get wanted.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.