DOE jokes
Why does rapboat like underage girls? Cos grown ass girls are too clever for him.
What does the suicidal person say on New Years?
"New year, no me."
What does Leo have in common with a newspaper?
They both love to yap and babble, and they always get fondled by old people.
W-what does, I mean uh, what is, um-, wh-what’s the difference, no... I mean- I mean what do you call a, um... sorry guys, i-i can’t do this. 😥🥺
*runs away in tears*
How does a rapper make tea?
He drops some HOT BARS into a cup.
How does a rapper greet someone on a cold day?
"Yo, is the temperature Ice Cube, or Vanilla Ice?"
How does a rapper stay warm in the winter?
With some HOT TRACKS!
How does a rapper start his day?
With a MIC check!
How does a rapper make a burrito?
With WRAPPING paper, DUUUHHHHHH!
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?
He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common They both get laid by Mexicans
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, obviously not 10; my basement's still dark.
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.
But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.