Yo mama so fat, she sunk the Titanic.
Disaster Jokes
What do you call a cow đŽ in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
What happens when a sink on the Titanic overflows?
It sinks it.
How do you think the unthinkable? An iceberg.
What is black and at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking's after a fire.
Q: What did the Iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
Two people just met. One said, âWe should do some bonding.â The other nodded and said back, âTitanic.â The first just looked confused so the second one just said, âSorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.â
Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!
Were you born on a highway? Because that's where accidents mostly happen.
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, âWhat about the kids?â and the rabbi replies to him saying, âFuck the kids,â and the priest says, âThink we got enough time?â
What is yellow and canât swim?
A school bus full of children.
What did the beachgoers in North Carolina say when there was a tsunami?
Nothing, they died.
Before: Caring & Noble.
After: Chernobyl.