Disaster jokes
I figured out why everyone is buying toilet paper. Because a huge rock is headed towards Earth, and paper covers rock.
I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.
What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?
Christopher Reeves in a house fire.
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. (Titanic sinks.)
Yo mama so fat, she sunk the Titanic.
What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
What happens when a sink on the Titanic overflows?
It sinks it.
How do you think the unthinkable? An iceberg.
What is black and at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking's after a fire.
Q: What did the Iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”
Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!