Disaster jokes
I see all these 9/11 jokes, and I’m disgusted. I personally won’t make a 9/11 joke because they have a tendency to crash and burn.
Last words of the captain of the Titanic... "Where's all this water come from?"
Nobody:
Titanic: sYnCccCc
Iceberg: yAaaYeEee
People: yAaanOooO
Ocean: fUuudD
How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red?
As soon as the bomb exploded on her.
I smell ice a mile. Titanic, I want to iceberg.
What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?
An avalanche.
Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,
HOLY SHIT, MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!
When you're going to Titanic: It's the best ship in the world.
When you know it's sinking: It's the poor ship!
I like the iceberg... my favorite character was the iceberg!
Why did the Titanic sink? It loved the iceberg!
When I was on the Titanic, I got broken.
I figured out why everyone is buying toilet paper. Because a huge rock is headed towards Earth, and paper covers rock.
I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.
What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?
Christopher Reeves in a house fire.
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. (Titanic sinks.)
Yo mama so fat, she sunk the Titanic.
What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"