Disabled jokes
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
Why did the midget not go to bed?
He couldn't reach the bed.
Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.
So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?
No, I'm blind.
Stop ruining my jokes.
Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?
It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
Why do disabled people always get picked on?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not Stephanie!
I bullied a handicap today.
What is he gonna do? Stand up for himself?
What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?
Winston Churchill.
"Fuckin blakfellas be drunk all the time," slurred Barry McKenzie over his tenth pint of guiness.
Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?
From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym 💪 💪 🏋️♂️ or at the rest area ♿️ 🚹 🚽.
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.