Disabled jokes
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost Wi-Fi connection.
Why did the carrot roll down the hill?
Because he couldn't stop his wheelchair.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.
He said it was the most violent book he ever read.
Why did the legless kid think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.
The translation is correct. Toilet for disabled person shouldn't be called toilet. It should be:
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.
The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!
I hate it when disabled people get bullied...
... because they can't stand up for themselves.
What games would deaf people not be good at?
Simon says and Musical chairs.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.
*knock knock*
Who's there!
Not Sarah.
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."
My friend told me to name a country in Africa.
So I said, "Hungry."
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?
He spills coffee on his iPad.
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexic Association.
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.