Disabled jokes
One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.
The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.
What do you call a rich Chinese man? Ching Ching.
My handicapped friend was getting bullied. I said, "Just stand up for yourself!"
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?
Being able to walk.
Is a disabled person who has no arms but has guns armed or not armed?
What did John say to little Timmy? Happy Disable day!
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user?
Fast food.
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."
What do you call a black person in a swimming pool?
Coco Pops.
If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?
One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).
My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes and told me they both ended up dying.
Well, SO-RRY, but I didn't know they were conjoined twins.
When a wheelchair kid bends over, wheelchair kid goes “ohhahahhahhahahahahal!”
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
My friend threw a soccer ball at a disabled kid.
We all yelled "Rocket league!"
My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.