Disability jokes
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
What are wheelchair users experts at?
Being lazy.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?
Gracias.
Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard?
Neither did she.
You can say what you want about deaf people...
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
I have no legs.
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
What do you say to a magician with autism?
Are you "Autism-ic?"
Sally fell off the swing.
Sally has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
I get knocked down, but I get up again, as long as I have 46 chromosomes.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
What time is it when you cannot walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand?
She moans with her right.