Disability jokes
What time is it when you cannot walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup?
The wheelchair.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Yeah, neither has he!
Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
Santa Claus gives a child a bike. The child was mad. Why? He had no legs.
My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there were stairs.
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the Wi-Fi cord.
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.