Disability jokes
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
I have no legs.
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
What do you say to a magician with autism?
Are you "Autism-ic?"
Sally fell off the swing.
Sally has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
I get knocked down, but I get up again, as long as I have 46 chromosomes.
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
Some say Stephen Hawking couldn't stand up for himself 😂
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand?
She moans with her right.
What's Helen Keller's favorite color?
Corduroy.
Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/
What time is it when you cannot walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup?
The wheelchair.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Yeah, neither has he!
Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
Santa Claus gives a child a bike. The child was mad. Why? He had no legs.
My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."