Disability jokes

TV Show

I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."

Phone

My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.

Friend

A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"

Wheelchair

To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.

Detector

Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.

Orphan

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?

Hot wheels.

Helen Keller

Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?

So she can moan with her right hand.

Wheelchair

My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.

Sex

That autistic kid having sex for the first time:

"U The Hips, U The Hips!"

Contest

When I have a staring contest, I always win.

Every day, I see blind people who hate me.