Disability jokes
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
Why did Hellen Keller's dogs run away?
Because wouldn't you runway too if your name was djhdhekdndyekedhekekfjkfurir?
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RCXD.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite band?
The Rolling Stones.
What was the scariest thing Helen Keller ever read?
The waffle iron.
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Getting them back in the wheelchair.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?
Gracias.
Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard?
Neither did she.
You can say what you want about deaf people...
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
I have no legs.
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
What do you say to a magician with autism?
Are you "Autism-ic?"
Sally fell off the swing.
Sally has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.