Disability jokes

Why are disabled people screwed?

Because you can't run or hide!

I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.

What is the difference between kinky and perverted?

Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.

Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.

Hellen Keller once said, "love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel," but of course she said it like this "fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb."

Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.

Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.

Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.

I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.

What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...

We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.

Stop making jokes about people in wheelchairs. They can't stand up for themselves.

What did the father name his daughter with no legs?

Peggy.

I bought my son a trampoline. He sat in his wheelchair and cried.

Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.

And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.

They say Jesus walked on water.

That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.

What do you call basketball for disabled people?

Rocket League?

He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.

I know why Stephen Hawking loves Transformers so much now.

Autobots, "Roll Out!"

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

Christopher Walken.

Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?

Pot wheels.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because there was a power cut.