Disability jokes
I used to get pushed and called lazy in school.
Man, I loved that wheelchair.
Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.
I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.
My name is Bishal Khan and I can't walk.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
What part of the vegetable is the hardest to eat? The wheelchair.
Where was Stephen Hawking born?
Under a coconut tree.
What do you call a disabled gang member? A crip.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
I told Hellen Keller it was a hair dryer, little did she know it was a Glock.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
Everyone is a gangster until Helen Keller hits a 3 on you.
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
What does the blind, deaf child get for Christmas?
Cancer.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled children.
What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?
Meals on wheels.
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."