Disability jokes
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
What’s the opposite of Stephen Hawking? Stephen walking.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.
What is the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Hellen Keller once said, "love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel," but of course she said it like this "fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb."
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.
Stop making jokes about people in wheelchairs. They can't stand up for themselves.
What do you call basketball for disabled people?
Rocket League?
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
What did the father name his daughter with no legs?
Peggy.
I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.
He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.
What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...
We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.
I know why Stephen Hawking loves Transformers so much now.
Autobots, "Roll Out!"
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.