Disability jokes
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
- They see me rolling.
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.
In my spare time I help blind children. -- I mean the verb, not the adjective.
I just wanted to say...
These disabled jokes are quite offensive. I'm not disabled in any way, but people reading might be affected in many ways. Yes, some of them are amusing, but there's a difference between having a joke and being plain rude.
Please take my feedback into account. Thanks!
What's black, has four wheels, and sits at the top of the stairs?
Steven Hawking after a house fire.
How to punish a blind kid, rearrange his bedroom.
I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.
I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?
You wave at him.
Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.
How do you execute a retard?
The Electric Wheelchair.
A blind guy walks into a bar.
What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas? AIDS.
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me, what did you do?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.
When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom, and you think you're in the clear, but the Down syndrome kid says, "Goodbye."
I put the sexy in dyslexia.