Disability jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
It's said Duracell batteries are supposed to last 75 years, well Stephen, here you are.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What do you call all down syndromes?
Twins.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
Why can't the blind man see? Because he can't see.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?
He spills coffee on his iPad.
What is a group of disabled people in a coma called?
A salad.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
How do you punish a blind guy?
You leave a plunger in the toilet.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.
So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...
Oh, wait.
I can’t stand disabled jokes...
Neither can they 😂