Disability jokes
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
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I have no legs.
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful fuck just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
Have you ever walked past Steven Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
My blind friend is so annoying, he kept bumping into things even though I repeatedly told him to look where he was going.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
What did the mute man tell the blind man?
Nothing.
What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?
Being able to walk.
I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.
He couldn't stand a chance.
What do you call a hot tub full of special ed students?
Vegetable Soup.
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.
I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.
What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
My friend threw a soccer ball at a disabled kid.
We all yelled "Rocket league!"
What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup?
The wheelchair.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.