Disability jokes
What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him for a drag.
Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.
As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"
What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?
We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.
Q: What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
A: Putting them back in their wheelchair.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He lost WiFi connection.
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
"Rueben Glover is a Steven Hawking spastic."
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
Hellen Keller walked into a bar, then a chair, then a table.
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?
Stephen Hawking.
So, a blind man got run over by a car... a parked car.
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
What do an orphan and a blind person have in common? They both can't see their parents.
Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
It’s because she’s dead.
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?
He can't run, just hug the bomb.
What do you say to a girl with no arms and no legs? Nice boobs!