Disability jokes
Q: What do you call a little girl without arms and legs?
A: Names.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
How did Stephen Hawking actually die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection.
Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.
What is so good about a dog that cannot see? Nothing is good.
Do you know where Helen Keller lives?
Neither does she.
Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.
Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
What does the blind, deaf child get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?
He couldn’t stand up for himself.
Stephen Hawking and his wife Siri’s favorite place to eat is Meals on Wheels!
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she's a woman.
Stephen Hawking + Computer = SMART!
Stephen Hawking + Shoulder = HUNGRY!
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces!! HAHAHA
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.
What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable in a wheelchair?
Two people about to have sex realize they have no lube.
In their desperate, horny haste, they looked for the nearest "Downy" and asked it, "Speak into my hand."
Upon their return to the bed, they regretted it immediately because his dick just stayed down...
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t go up the stairs to heaven.
Stephen Hawking didn’t die naturally, his carer just forgot to put him on charge.
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.