Disability jokes

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Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?

'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.

What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?

Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.

Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?

Sally's used to being blind!

Q: How did Helen Keller break her wrist?

A: Reading road signs.

What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?

She slurs her words...

Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied?

'Cause they can’t stand up for themselves.

My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"

Me and my girlfriend broke up, and I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Why are Helen Keller jokes so funny?

Because she’s blind and deaf.

A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."

Son: Mom, what's dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I'm blind.

Mom: Exactly.

Someone was bullying Stephen, so I said, "Why do you not stand up for yourself?"

Why couldn’t Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff?

Because she was wearing mittens.

Playing hide and seek with Helen Keller wasn’t the best idea you’ve had all day.

A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"

You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.

I kick a soccer ball at someone in a wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.