Disability jokes
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"
Did you ever walk into Stephen Hawking's house?
Answer: No, neither did he.
What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?
A hurri-CANE.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
Today I feel Qatari. Today I feel Arab. Today I feel African. Today I feel gay. Today I feel disabled. Today I feel a migrant worker.
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Disabled.
What time is it when you cannot walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
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Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
My friend and I were walking down the street, and we saw this one disabled kid getting bullied by three other kids. Urgently, we sprinted over to help. He had no chance against the five of us.
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?
Take her wheelchair, she'll come crawling back.
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"
Hi Stephen. Are you a vegetarian?
Well, you are partly right—I'm a vegetable.
What do you call all down syndromes?
Twins.