Disability jokes
What do an orphan and a blind person have in common? They both can't see their parents.
Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
It’s because she’s dead.
How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?
He can't run, just hug the bomb.
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
What do you say to a girl with no arms and no legs? Nice boobs!
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?
"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
What do you call your sister if she only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
Hellen Keller walked into a bar, then a chair, then a table.
God: “Stephen, join us!”
*sees the staircase to heaven.*
Stephen: “Shit!”
What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?
Stephen Hawking.
So, a blind man got run over by a car... a parked car.
Why can't blind people fish?
Because it was "see food."
Stephen Hawking died because he rolled too far from the outlet.
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
There was a blind man. He was blind. Ha, sucks for him.
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
What do you call a washed vegetable?
A disabled kid that needs a towel.