Disability jokes

Kid

That moment when the disabled kid has to take the Pacer test.

Love

What is the definition of Endless Love?

Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis!

Suzy

Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.

Guy

A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.

The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.

The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"

The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."

Name

It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!

Hide-and-seek

Why did Stephen Hawking stop playing hide and seek with his wife?

She kept getting the metal detector out.

Sex

Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?

'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.

Song

Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.

Sally

Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?

Sally's used to being blind!

Nose

What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?

She slurs her words...

Funeral

My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.