Disability jokes
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
"Rueben Glover is a Steven Hawking spastic."
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
God: “Stephen, join us!”
*sees the staircase to heaven.*
Stephen: “Shit!”
Stephen Hawking died because he rolled too far from the outlet.
Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?
"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"
What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?
Stephen Hawking.
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
So, a blind man got run over by a car... a parked car.
Hellen Keller walked into a bar, then a chair, then a table.
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
What do you call your sister if she only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
It’s because she’s dead.
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.
What do an orphan and a blind person have in common? They both can't see their parents.
What do you say to a girl with no arms and no legs? Nice boobs!
Why can't blind people fish?
Because it was "see food."