Disability jokes

Influence

Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.

Heaven

Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.

Dog

What is so good about a dog that cannot see? Nothing is good.

Table

Why do tables never need wheelchairs?

Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.

Man

A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"

Girl

Q: What do you call a little girl without arms and legs?

A: Names.

Golfer

Why do disabled people make good golfers?

Because they're always handicapped.

Kid

Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?

He couldn’t stand up for himself.

Death

Stephen Hawking didn’t die naturally, his carer just forgot to put him on charge.

Mom

Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.