Disability jokes
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?
You'll Never Walk Alone.
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.
Why can't the blind man see? Because he can't see.
What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?
Stephen Hawking.
Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
I saw a Down syndrome kid waving at me today, but there's no way I'm swimming all the way over there to save him.
"Eugheugh," said the boy.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!
Balalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and said, "Hot Wheels!"
What's black and at the top of the staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup?
The wheelchair.
Dear disabled people, Just go into the settings and enable it.
I bought my sister a trampoline. She sat in her wheelchair and cried.
Hellen Keller walked into a bar, then a chair, then a table.
I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.
What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.