Disability jokes
How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?
He can't run, just hug the bomb.
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
There was a blind man. He was blind. Ha, sucks for him.
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
What do you call a washed vegetable?
A disabled kid that needs a towel.
Why did Helen Keller walk in on someone in the bathroom?
Because she didn’t know it was the bathroom.
What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish store?
"Hello Ladies!"
Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
That moment when the disabled kid has to take the Pacer test.
Why do you make fun of disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
My blind friend got ran over by a parked car.
What is the definition of Endless Love?
Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis!
Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.
Why couldn't Sally open the fridge?
Because she had no arms.
Why did Stephen Hawking stop playing hide and seek with his wife?
She kept getting the metal detector out.
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!