Disability jokes
What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish store?
"Hello Ladies!"
Why did Helen Keller walk in on someone in the bathroom?
Because she didn’t know it was the bathroom.
Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.
What is the definition of Endless Love?
Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis!
That moment when the disabled kid has to take the Pacer test.
Why do you make fun of disabled people?
They can't stand up for themselves.
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
My blind friend got ran over by a parked car.
Why couldn't Sally open the fridge?
Because she had no arms.
What's the different between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? Both of them can't stand up.
It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
Stephen Hawking lost Wi-Fi connection.
Why did Stephen Hawking stop playing hide and seek with his wife?
She kept getting the metal detector out.
"SpaStics on aplastic. Add me on ps4 SpaZZagaZZa54."
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly.