Disability jokes

Sex

Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?

'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.

Funeral

My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.

Wheelchair

Me and my girlfriend broke up, and I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Son

Son: Mom, what's dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I'm blind.

Mom: Exactly.

Orphan

A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."

Stephen

Someone was bullying Stephen, so I said, "Why do you not stand up for yourself?"

Helen Keller

Why couldn’t Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff?

Because she was wearing mittens.

Class

You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.

Nose

What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?

She slurs her words...

Sally

Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?

Sally's used to being blind!

Influence

Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.