Disability jokes

What time is it when you say I can’t walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦼.

Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.

As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"

My friend is blind.

So he always says he cannot Nazi.

If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman... no other reasons besides that.

Why don't paralyzed people laugh?

They hate stand-up comedy.

Why can't Stephen Hawking be the real Slim Shady?

Because he can't stand up, can't stand up.

How do you beat Hellen Keller in musical chairs?

You move the chairs.

What do you call a blind person driving a car?

Died.

When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣

I wish we could implant all parts because I could have used some car parts from Stephen Hawking after he died.

What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?

They can't stand up for themselves.

Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.

What do orphans and blind kids have in common: They both can't see their parents.

I was bullying Stephen Hawking. I told him, "Why not stand up for yourself?"

What did the soldier say when he saw a terrorist in a wheelchair?

"An RC-XD!"

You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.

Why haven't they put Stephen Hawking in charge yet?

On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.

What color is Stephen Hawking's house?

It's a bungalow.