Disability jokes
Hellen Keller walked into a bar, then a chair, then a table.
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
It’s because she’s dead.
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
What do an orphan and a blind person have in common? They both can't see their parents.
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
What do you say to a girl with no arms and no legs? Nice boobs!
How [does] a disabled kid face [the] Jalalas?
He can't run, just hug the bomb.
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
Why can't blind people fish?
Because it was "see food."
God: “Stephen, join us!”
*sees the staircase to heaven.*
Stephen: “Shit!”
What do you call your sister if she only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?
Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking died because he rolled too far from the outlet.
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?
"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"
So, a blind man got run over by a car... a parked car.