Me and my girlfriend broke up, and I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
Disability Jokes
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"
Why are Helen Keller jokes so funny?
Because she’s blind and deaf.
I kick a soccer ball at someone in a wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied?
'Cause they can’t stand up for themselves.
Q: How did Helen Keller break her wrist?
A: Reading road signs.
Why do Christmas trees like wheelchairs? Because they have kids.
A disabled man stands up.
A blind man says, "You can stand?"
A deaf man says, "You can see?"
A mute person says, "You can hear?"
The disabled man says, "You can talk!"
Doctor: "What the actual f**k"
Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?
Sally's used to being blind!
What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?
She slurs her words...
What do you call a girl with one leg? Ilean.
Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"
Q: What do you call a little girl without arms and legs?
A: Names.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
How did Stephen Hawking actually die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection.
Why didn’t Steven Hawking go to heaven? Because it was a stairway, not a rampway.
What is so good about a dog that cannot see? Nothing is good.
