Disability jokes
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.
As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"
What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?
We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He lost WiFi connection.
Q: What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
A: Putting them back in their wheelchair.
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
"Rueben Glover is a Steven Hawking spastic."
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
Hellen Keller walked into a bar, then a chair, then a table.
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.
What do an orphan and a blind person have in common? They both can't see their parents.
What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?
Stephen Hawking.
So, a blind man got run over by a car... a parked car.
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
It’s because she’s dead.
What do you say to a girl with no arms and no legs? Nice boobs!
What do you call your sister if she only has one leg?
Ei-lean.