What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
Disability Jokes
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
What do you call a person with an "a" in their autism?
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
How does Helen Keller say "dad?"
I don’t know, but you should ask her... wait, never mind, she can’t talk.
What do most disabled people eat?
Their arm.
A blind comedian walks into a room, or did he? Dun, dun, dun!
Why did the girl never go upstairs?
Because she had no legs.
How did Steven Hawkings die?
His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.
What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?
The wheelchair.
Hi, what's your name?
I don't know, I'm disabled.
Stop making autism jokes, calling us "retards." It is not cool.
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
I wish I was blind.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"
Stephen Hawking answers.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.
