Disability jokes
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?
Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.
The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.
I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.
Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.
That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:
What did the autistic man order at McDonald’s?
Ass Burgers.
What is the autistic woman’s favorite Dorito flavor?
Neurospicy.
Yo momma so dumb, she got kicked off the short bus.
I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.
If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
What do you call a Censor with Autism?
A Censorspaz.
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
Why do disabled people get picked on so much?
Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.
Also, I have the same Birthday as her, so I have the pass.
A paraplegic walks into a bar...
It's funny because he can't walk.
Why didn't Superman save the Twin Towers?
Because he's a quadriplegic.
Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger 🍔 one wheelchair.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.