Disability jokes
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders. 😊
There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.
It's called "Unplugged!"
MAN 1) Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
MAN 2) No.
MAN 1) Neither did he.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
What do you call a person with an "a" in their autism?
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
How does Helen Keller say "dad?"
I don’t know, but you should ask her... wait, never mind, she can’t talk.
What do most disabled people eat?
Their arm.
A blind comedian walks into a room, or did he? Dun, dun, dun!
Why did the girl never go upstairs?
Because she had no legs.
How did Steven Hawkings die?
His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.
What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?
The wheelchair.