Disability jokes
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
A blind man was walking into a fish market. He took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, ladies!”
How do you know when Helen Keller is home?
Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!
What is the definition of "Endless Love"?
Answer: Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing "Tennis"!
What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?
Stand up.
What's black, has four wheels, and sits at the top of the stairs?
Steven Hawking after a house fire.
What do you call a blind German?
A nat-zee.
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.
Why do blind kids like plane crashes?
Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.
What do u call a Chinese man with one leg?
Tie-wan-sho.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Som Ting Wong.
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
I got sent to the principal's office after telling the kid in the wheelchair to do a wheelie.
I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."
I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!
What does the dumb kid say to the blind kid?
"Long time no see!"
The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.