Disability jokes
What is black and at the top of a staircase?
Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
What's black and at the top of the staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
Today I feel Qatari. Today I feel Arab. Today I feel African. Today I feel gay. Today I feel disabled. Today I feel a migrant worker.
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not coming anyways.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair in a burning building?
Hot wheels! 😎
What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people?
A cabbage patch.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldn’t stand up?
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck a plunger down the toilet.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.
He said it was the most violent book he ever read.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
Neither of 'em can see their parents.
There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."
I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.