Disability jokes
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Helen Keller walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and a wall.
This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs. 🤣🤣 LOL
This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs.
I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal? His left shoulder.
What did John say to little Timmy? Happy Disable day!
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Disabled.
Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
No, and neither did she.
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What do you call a person on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels!
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
Dear disabled people, simply go to settings and enable it.
The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
How does a disabled person play chess?
I think you forgot they don't have legs.
What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?
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