Disability jokes

Have you ever seen a blind man swim?

No.

Neither has he.

What do a crippled person's legs and the Twin Towers have in common? They both went down and never came back up.

My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.

So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"

I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.

My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"

Little Johnny has no arms. Knock, knock, who's there?

Not Johnny.

What do you call a disabled kid on fire?

Hot wheels.

I bought my cousin a trampoline, she started crying. She was in a wheelchair.

I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.

Can disabled enable dark mode?

Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?

A: Throw in some laundry.

A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.

One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."

The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"

The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."

So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.

"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."

The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"

The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."

The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

Helen Keller walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and a wall.

This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs. 🤣🤣 LOL

This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs.

I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."

How did the blind boy's parents punish him?

Rearrange the furniture.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?

Spasticelastic.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal? His left shoulder.

What did John say to little Timmy? Happy Disable day!