Disability jokes

Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?

Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"

Ben 10 and a disabled person are the same, but no aliens for the disabled person.

What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special Forces.

What are the similarities between a blind person and an orphan?

Neither can see their parents.

What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?

Neither of them can see or hear their parents.

Yo mama's so ugly, even the kid in the wheelchair ran.

A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or legs.

One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay.

He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."

The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."

When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."

A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.

What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom?

Sex worker.

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

An RC-XD.

I got sent to the principal's office for telling the kid in the wheelchair to stand up for himself.

Imagine if a disabled person's last name was Runner or Walker! 😬😂

I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.

I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...

Who is the definition of a natural-born cocksucker?

A bisexual male, a homosexual male, a bisexual female, or a heterosexual female?

A physically disabled heterosexual male.

My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.