Dinosaur

Dinosaur jokes

Mama

Yo mama so old, I bet she was born when dinosaurs were made, and also she killed them with they breath! 😭😭

Asteroid

I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!

Memes

Year

6 year old me in bible study trying to figure out where the dinosaurs were

The image shows a four-panel grid of a woman with a confused expression. In the background, there are mathematical formulas and a drawing of a cone. The formulas are: "y=ax²+bx+c", "(x,x)=-b/2a" and "V=1/3πr²h".
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  • Rap

    What do you call a dinosaur that raps?

    A VELOCI-RAPPER!

    Cat

    What do you get when you cross a cat and a dinosaur? A cat-astrophe!

    Pig

    What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?

    Jurassic Park.

    Snapchat

    Yo yo yo, I’m a dinosaur, rawr! And my Snapchat is s4r1m-007 for more amazing jokes.

    Orphan

    Why was the baby Dinosaur an orphan?

    His family was blown up by meteors.

    Man

    What did the dinosaur say to the man?

    It didn’t, they're dead.

    Hairline

    It looks like Will Smith slapped your hairline so hard that the dinosaurs can see it now.

    Barney

    Bro, you can't be talking. You built like Barney the dinosaur. Barney is a dinosaur with dinosaur sensation.

    Night

    Walk The Dinosaur-By watersharky Productions and Was(Not Was)-

    Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

    It was a night like this forty million years ago I lit a cigarette, picked up a monkey skull to go The sun was spitting fire, the sky was blue as ice I felt a little tired, so I watched Miami Vice And walked the dinosaur, I walked the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur

    I met you in a cave, you were painting buffalo I said I'd be your slave, follow wherever you go That night we split a rattlesnake and danced beneath the stars You fell asleep, I stayed awake and watched the passing cars And walked the dinosaur, I walked the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the dinosaur

    One night I dreamed of New York You and I roasting blue pork In the Statue of Liberty's torch Elvis landed in a rocket ship Healed a couple of leapers and disappeared But where was his beard?

    A shadow from the sky much too big to be a bird A screaming crashing noise louder than I've ever heard It looked like two big silver trees that somehow learned to soar Suddenly a summer breeze and a mighty lion's roar I killed the dinosaur, I killed the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur Open the door, get on the floor Everybody kill the dinosaur

    Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom

    Barney

    I like you, you like me.

    Let’s go out and kill Barney with a big shot gun. Barney’s on the floor, no more purple dinosaur. 🌸🌸🌸🌺🌺🌺🥀🥀🥀RIP BARNEY

    Antenna

    These are all of my terrible jokes.

    Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married. The ceremony was alright, but the reception was amazing.

    A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender said, "I'll serve you but don't start anything."

    A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

    Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says, "Does this taste funny to you? I'm joking of course!"

    Dejamoo: the feeling that you've heard this bull before.

    A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident and said to the doctor "I can't feel my legs." The doctor said, "I know, I amputated your arms!"

    I went to seafood disco last week, I pulled a muscle.

    What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

    Two fish swim into a concrete wall, one says, "Dam!"

    A mystic dwarf escapes from a jail, the call went out for a "small medium at large."

    A man walks into a bar with solid tar under his arm, he says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

    Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The p is silent.

    Yo mama so fat that she should be worried, diabetes is a serious problem.

    What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, duh.

    A priest, a rabbi, and a cleric walk into a bar. The cleric, due to his religious constructions, does not drink alcohol. The others do the same, they have a pleasant fun and nothing bad happens.

    What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

    I remember the last words my grandad said before he kicked the bucket, "How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

    A man walks into a bar, his alcohol independence is pulling this family apart.

    I like my coffee like my women, on sometimes with a penis.

    A man is working at a bar, a money comes in and orders a banana martini. The man wakes up and tells his story to his wife, he is ignored and he turns around sobbing. His marriage is falling apart.

    Why didn't Jesus play hockey? Soccer and baseball are more popular in Mexico.

    What's green and has wheels? Grass, the wheels were a lie.

    What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have wheels except the duck.

    Why couldn't the dinosaur break the wall? I don't know. I'm asking you.

    Why did the old woman put rainbow roller skates on her walker? She has dementia.

    There are an owl and a squirrel watching a farmer go by, they owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing. It's an owl it can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.