Difference jokes
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
What is the difference between a flower and an orphan?
A flower gets picked.
What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?
The location of the Dirtbag.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
What's the difference between Nickelback and a nickel?
A nickel is actually metal.
My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.
What is the difference between an orphan and a candle?
One is used.
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
What's the difference between a drill and a priest?
Nothing, they both like screwing stuff!
What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What's the difference between a pair of jeans and an African baby?
A pair of jeans only has 1 fly.
What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?
I don't know. I forgot.
What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?
Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.