Difference jokes

What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.

What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?

When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.

What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.

What is the difference between runners and my car?

My car is still running.

What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?

Usain Bolt can finish a race.

What’s the difference between weed and pussy?

If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.

What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?

Stuart Little got chosen!

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?

Nothing. They are both just memories.

What's the difference between Jesus and a holy whore?

Jesus got pegged against a cross.

What’s the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

The only difference between you and Jesus is that Jesus believed in himself.

What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?

Nothing, they both fell.

You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?

He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.

What is the difference between a flower and an orphan?

A flower gets picked.

What’s the difference between a job and a wife?

The job keeps sucking after 5 years.

What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?

Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.

What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?

The location of the Dirtbag.

What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?

I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.

What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?

A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.

What is the difference between an orphan and a candle?

One is used.