
Difference jokes
What's the difference between a pizza & a person?
A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...
What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?
The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?
A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.
What's the difference between a baby and a brick?
A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.
A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"
The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."
Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."
What is the difference between Clash Royale and the Twin Towers?
Clash Royale still has a tower.
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.
What is the difference between the Titanic and the Twin Towers?
They both went down.
What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?
People don't eat their broccoli.
A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"
His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."
So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"
She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"
The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"
"Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.
The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.
"You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."
Q: What's the difference between a grandma fetish and necrophilia?
A: A few weeks.
What is the difference between an orphan's dad and a boomerang?
Oh... one comes back.
What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
What's the difference between me and a rapist?
He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.
She was just 7 years old.
What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?
Serial killers are wanted.
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.
