Difference jokes

What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?

A dead person does not walkie or talkie.

What is the difference between runners and my car?

My car is still running.

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.

Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?

A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.

What’s the difference between a Black dad and a Pizza?

One can feed a family.

What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?

Nothing, they both fell.

The only difference between you and Jesus is that Jesus believed in himself.

What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?

Stuart Little got chosen!

You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?

He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?

Nothing. They are both just memories.

What's the difference between Jesus and a holy whore?

Jesus got pegged against a cross.

What’s the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

What is the difference between a flower and an orphan?

A flower gets picked.

What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?

I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.

What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?

A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.

What’s the difference between a job and a wife?

The job keeps sucking after 5 years.

What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?

Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.

What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?

The location of the Dirtbag.

What is the difference between an orphan and a candle?

One is used.

My arm has a different texture than the rest of me, lol.