Difference jokes

What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?

I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.

The only difference between you and Jesus is that Jesus believed in himself.

What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?

Nothing, they both fell.

What’s the difference between a job and a wife?

The job keeps sucking after 5 years.

What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?

Stuart Little got chosen!

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?

Nothing. They are both just memories.

What's the difference between Jesus and a holy whore?

Jesus got pegged against a cross.

You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?

He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.

What’s the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?

The location of the Dirtbag.

What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?

Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.

What’s the difference between a Black dad and a Pizza?

One can feed a family.

What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?

A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.

What's the difference between a drill and a priest?

Nothing, they both like screwing stuff!

What's the difference between a pair of jeans and an African baby?

A pair of jeans only has 1 fly.

What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?

Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?

A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.

What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.

What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.