Die jokes

Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.

I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died.

Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."

Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"

Guy: "Yup"

Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"

Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"

Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.

He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.

We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)

Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.

My great grandfather died in 9/11.

He was an amazing pilot.

A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"

He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.

The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."

Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.

Bully: You're gonna die.

Me: Hurry up then.

If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.

Alicia was not a popular girl. None of the guys noticed her. Once she got a boyfriend, but then he cheated on her with Katy and said, "You're not sexy enough, Katy is much hotter."

So Alicia took a match, set herself on fire, and screamed, "THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!"

And then she died.

What do your teacher and your friend have in common? They will both die eventually.

You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?

Answer: Living.

Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?

It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.

MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.

DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.

MOM: No, you're not.

When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.

And into a children's birthday party.

When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."

If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.

Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.

Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.

Why'd the chicken cross the road?

That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!

Also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.