Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy”
And then you die inside
My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell, she broke every bone in her body.
1 year later she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died
If I was an object in this world I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety
Help me....
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
I only remember my fathers last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon..
And into a children's birthday party.
How is wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the cheshire cat.
Stephen Hawking died because he accidentaly lost his bluetooth connection
Why did Steven Hawking not go to heaven after he died?
He could not get up the stairs?
A farm full of cows were bombed and only two survived. All of the udders died.
What do your teacher and your friend have in common?
They will both die eventually.
Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs - to get to the bottom What do you call a bear with no teeth - a gummy bear!!!!!!
you know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
answer: living
why did my dad cross the road.
to get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on american soil
Y did Steven hawking die he didn’t pay his electricity bills
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
Guess Stephens batteries died
I called the suicide hotline at Iraq, the person got exited and asked if I can drive a truck.
Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))
