Die jokes

Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.

Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.

The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.

The son comes outside and steps on a crack.

The dad then dies in a car crash.

I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.

Why did Stephen Hawking die? He didn't pay his electricity bills.

I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.

Why did Ten die?

It was between 9/11.

How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.

I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.

I heard the man who invented Autocorrect died; may he rest in peace.

A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion. After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma. After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies. Did I mention he was suicidal?

Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))

Everybody was kung flu dying.

It traveled as fast as lightning.

2020 was expert timing.

In fact, it was a little bit frightening.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.

To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.

My uncle died on nine eleven... he was the best pilot in Iraq.

One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.

She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.

What do fire and people have in common?

They will both eventually die out.

How do we know Stephen is dying in hell?

There’s a stairway to heaven.

You realize you're in a paradox until you die. You'll see yourself die by murder, suicide, old age, etc.

Then you realize you're dreaming, but you realize that if you die in a dream, you die IRL.

Racecar backwards is racecar, but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.