how did steven Hawkins die? he tried to update to windows 10 and his hard drive corrupted

MOM: honey im pregnet DAD:Hi pregnet im dad MOM:No your not

Two scientists walk into a bar. One says ¨I want h20” the other said ¨ I want h20 too¨ The second scientist died.

A suicide bomber’s biggest fear is dying alone

Did you here about pillsbery dough boy he died of a yeast infection

Why did Steven Hawking not go to heaven after he died?

He could not get up the stairs?

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

Because his wife changed the WiFi password

Man, chocking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears. C is for Clara who wasted away. D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh. E is for Ernest who choked on a peach. F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech. G is for George smothered under a rug. H is for Hector done in by a thug. I is for Ida who drowned in a lake. J is for James who took lye by mistake. K is for Kate who was struck with an axe. L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks. M is for Maud who was swept out to sea. N is for Neville who died of ennui. O is for Olive run through with an awl. P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl. Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire. R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire. S is for Susan who perished of fits. T is for Titus who flew into bits. U is for Una who slipped down a drain. V is for Victor squashed under a train. W is for Winnie embedded in ice. X is for Xerxes devoured by mice. Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in. Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin

Where do mathematicians go to die?

The symmetry

Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying , Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died and two weeks later Bob woke up to Brad’s voice. Brad said I’ve got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you’re up to bat next.

What noise does Steven hawkings make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune

It want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head

Stephen Hawking died because he accidentaly lost his bluetooth connection

I’ll always remember my Dad’s last words before he died on 9/11…

Allahu Akbar!

An obese depressed mother is trying to tie a noose but can’t reach it so she calls her son for help a few minutes later son: there mother: where did you learn to tie such a good noose? son: dad showed me before he died mother: DAM HIM TO HE- slips and noose chokes her to death

Why do they bury Germans 20 feet down when they die, instead of the usual 6 feet? Because deep down, Germans are ok.

I only remember my fathers last words before he died. He said, “Are you still holding the ladder?”

We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!

Teacher: People with Depression never get anywhere in life. Student 1: My mom has depression, but she died. Student 2: My sister has depression and she’s going to Therapy. Student 3: My Dad Has depression, and he’s Doing REALLY Well

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