Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.
A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says “Okay I’d like you to point to wherever it hurts”. So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says “Here. Ow.” She then pokes her arm and says “Here. Ow.” She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say “I know what’s happened to you.” “What’s happened to me??” The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, “You have a broken finger.”
Friend 1: What’s the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me repeating a year. Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?
Then there is me: My life.
Rules of Dark humor:
- All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
- No saying “Me” or “My Life” as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
- Don’t Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
- Sincerely, Zane
I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn”
Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”
A man shoots up a School and then fakes his own death, he then later returns to shoot up the same school, he repeats the prosses a few times untill the police catch him, when they ask why he did it, he replied “I wondered when you would check if i was still breathing”
this is to the girl/boy named Gwen: Are you okay? i see there is a bunch of haters but DON’T i repeat, DON’T let the haters get to you. i hope you see this and respon and that you are okay plz Gwen be honest.
My sister says DAD and repeats and this is my dad WOULD U STOP me 😑
Stop complaining. Pediphile Jokes are pretty funny but to say there is over 100 of them only to have repeats of the same joke told by different people is very disappointing.
THIS ISNT A JOKE I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A JOKE THE PLANE IN LAKE HARREIT IS NOT IN THE LAKE IT IS INVISIBLE CAUSE OF THE SATALITE PIC SO THERES NO PLANE IN LAKE HARRIET
Chapter 1. “Kid teacher”
Mrs. Lewis: Class, I want everyone to look at their textbooks and find a reasonable essay topic. My suggestion is page 232 or 678. Now this essay counts as the final grade for the semester, now do it or you will repeat 5th grade again! Now turn to page 100 and we’ll start reading from there, do you all understand?
Neilela: Yes ma’am, quick question, we don’t have to do it today … do we?
Mrs. Lewis: Yes! Is today!
Andrua: It sounds boring and all I have to do today is be a big jerk who gives way to much of instructions.
Mrs.Lewis : Anyway, let’s get to work.
56 hours later.
Mrs. Lewis: Kids, when I call you, please tell me what you liked about your eassy. When I call your name Carl.
Carl: Why me. Yes?
Mrs.Lewis : What did you like about the story Carl?
Carl: Um … I liked it when … um … um … um … um …
Jeklen: He didn’t even read the story because he’s to busy trying to look up the letter “J” and its meaning!
Carl: Jeklen shut up and stop biting your hair.
Jeklen: At least I know what the letter “J” is.
Mrs. Lewis: Class, please listen. Carl, did you read the story that I asked you?
Carl: Will, not really because you were the one reading it in class, so …
Vronica: For real!
Mrs.Lewis: Listen class, this homework needs to be done today! DO IT!
Kimbriel: Ms. Lewis, I have a lot of questions about tonight’s homework.
Kimbriel: You assigned so many things just for a little test! What?
Mrs.Lewis: I need a break! Peyton, you’re in charge!
All students: NO, NOT PEYTON !!!
Peyton: Me? In charge? Of the class?
Jessica: Wow, but you’re all about the bordom!
Peyton: Shut up! yeeeeeeee
Peyton: Ms. Lewis, there must be a mistake, how can I be in charge? I’m 11 … I think …
Ari: To think that yesterday she thought she was 8 years old.
Oh sorry … I think.
Mrs. Lewis: Have you ever heard of a teacher’s vacation?
All students: That not a thing!
I never heard it …
Mrs. Lewis: Will, me and Ms. Sumrall, we are going on a “teacher vacation”, we can do it because we become calmer or we don’t get angry at the students. AND WE CAN DO IT!
Mrs. Lewis: Because I am an adult.
Ms. Sumrall: Is Petrina ready?
Ms. Lewis: Yes, thank goodness for this!
Kenya: Bye? “Chapter 2” To be continued…
What’s the hardest bit about having anal sex? Repeatedly getting a cock shoved in your arse🤣
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cuz 7 8 9 right? NO. Its because 7 was a repeated 6 offender.
As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins:
Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still.
Devil: Did she just twitch?
A: No. She didn’t twitch.
D: I think I saw her finger twitch.
A: Well, even if it did, it’s her thigh the techs are aiming at.
D: She wants to scratch her face.
A: Stop it! She can handle staying still a few minutes.
D: But her cheek has an itchy spot.
A: She can just let it itch. She doesn’t need to scratch every itch. She will just have to think about something else.
D: Wow…that cheek is really itchy…
A: Think about: Flowers. Acrylic painting. Did the trash get picked up this morning? Her grandson Oliver’s smile…
D: How about a song?
A: Good idea!
D: How about… “Never going to give you up. Never going to let you down…”🎶
A: OMG! You just Rick-rolled her! She’s in the middle of a treatment! You know that’s the only part she knows!
D: That’s okay. She’ll just repeat the words she knows over and over and over and…
A: Don’t be so mean!
D: “Never going to give you up…🎶”
A: Stop it!
D: Her toe! Her big toe! Did you see that? She just twitched it!
A: No, she didn’t.
D: I bet it screwed up the test and they have to start over…
A: She didn’t screw anything up!
D: She totally screwed the test up and they were more than halfway done. If they start over at the beginning, she will get too much radiation, and they will end up slicing her whole leg off!
A: That’s not how it works…
D: Or they just stop all together and she only gets a partial treatment and her tumor won’t get enough radiation.
A: They know what they are doing!
D: …And it won’t shrink the tumor and the whole thing fails. And the doctor will have to amputate her leg.
A: No! No! No! That’s not how any of this…
D: …And when they amputate, it will be at the hip and not below the knee because the tumor is in her thigh.
A: Stop this right now!!
D: “Never going to give you up…🎶”
D: “…never going let you down…🎶”
A: I’m not going to let you…
D: “Never going to give you up…🎶” .
Techs: Okay. That’s it, Tammi! We are finished! How are you doing?
Tammi: …Oh, I’m fine…
Just to get things straight I’m NOT I REPEAT NOT RACIST but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.
Bully: your skin is so black and ugly.( for the 5th time ) Me: I’m so happy you love my skin color! Bully: ew no I don’t! Me: then why do you keep talking about it?
I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says: Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE …No wonder when kids leave school they’re soulless RIP Meh Soul
Why do u keep repeating the same joke