Die jokes

There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.

Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.

An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.

"I will see her in one week!"

A week later, he died.

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!

How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.

A boy asked his dad for some money to buy an ice cream with, so he went to an ice cream van. Whilst he was in the queue, two boys asked him what flavor he was getting. He told them "strawberry." The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The ice cream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice cream for free.

When he got home, his dad also asked what flavor he bought. The boy said "strawberry." His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy, confused, walked down the street and was stopped by the police, who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice cream. The boy said, "That's me," and the policeman arrested him.

A week later in court, the boy was on trial. The judge asked, "Can you tell me what were you doing on the fifth of May?" (the day he was arrested) The boy said, "I was eating ice cream." The judge decided he was innocent. On the way out, the judge asked him what the flavor was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course, he answered with "strawberry." The judge, horrified, realized he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately, he couldn't change what had happened, so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died.

The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road.

Die you potato.

I baked you a pie.

Oh boy, which flavor?

Pie Pie Pie Pie.

Dad, I'm hungry.

Hi hungry, I'm dad.

Why did you name this way?

Why Why Why?

For all the planes who are flying alone, you're not dying on your own.

Why did he die? He forgot to get a new GPU for his new PC.

How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.

My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.

My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.

What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."

What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.

Is die?

Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.

Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?

My Chinese friend died recently, So Yung.

U die from robot bite.

My uncle died in 9/11. He was in the plane that crashed in the field.