Didnt jokes
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didn’t have benign intentions.
Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)
The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the street?
He didn’t; he never did.
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?
Hint: he didn’t.
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:
Sans: "Sub bro."
Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"
Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."
Sans: "A skele-ton."
(Drum effect)
Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it didn't want to be argon.
I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.
Why didn't the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn't in it!
Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl?
Because it was a Rogue One!
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
So, about a year ago I was riding a horse, and out of nowhere the horse tried to flip me off it and I fell off. I would have been OK, but my foot got stuck in the stirrup. The horse dragged me along and didn't stop.
I would have died if it weren't for the Walmart manager who came out and unplugged the horse.
Sans: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Papyrus: Because they looked like me?
Sans: ... Sure.
My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.
Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five?
Logan Paul left him hanging.
Why did Sally drown in the pool?
She didn't have any arms, remember!