Didnt jokes
I went to the shops and still didn’t find Lucy’s dad.
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
Yo mama so fat, she didn't just cross the border; she crossed ALL the borders.
Short version: Yo mama so fat she touches every border.
The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.
I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
Why didn't the orphan play video games with his friends?
Because his parents wouldn't let him.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
I went up to the blind kid and punched him and said bet you didn't see that coming
A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."
If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?
Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat the cancer.
Yo mama so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.
I donated a computer to the orphanage...
It didn’t have a motherboard.