Dick jokes
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.
A customer came to me and asked for condoms for tiny dicks.
My dick harder than stone, man.
Kid: Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Kid 2: Why?
Kid: 'Cause it's as short as your dick.
Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?
Because he didn't have a pen to write with.
What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?
Suck a big cock.
I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!
I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.
Dick butt.
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm stroking my dick and thinking of you.
What's Moby Dick's dad's name? Papa Boner.
Little Johnny wanted a lolly, so his dada gave him dick.
Zion is so fat that his dick can't even fit in his wife's pussy.
BULLY vs. QUIET KID
Bully: I bet your dick is as small as a Tic Tac.
Quiet Kid: That's why your mom's breath smells so good.
QUIET KID WINS
1st daughter: Dad, I'm lesbian!
Dad: Oh, OK!
2nd daughter: I'm also lesbian.
Dad: WTF, does any 1 in this family love dicks?!?
Son: I do...
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"
Dik dik dik dik dik dik dik dik dik dik dik dik dik dik dik dik dik dik dik dik dik dik dik dik dik dik sub to enemy5spotted.
Hey, Squidward, say "kid" backward. Also, suck my dick!