Depression jokes

You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)

what happens when the president turns emo?

the great depression.

How do you tell if someone is depressed?

The brains on the wall.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?

"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"

haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.

When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

What music do depressed people listen to?

"I Believe I Can Fly."

I made a 3D game about a depressed, self-harming goth. It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.

I need a hug.

*hugs train*

My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.

What do you call a depressed a cappella group?

Self-Harmony.

There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.

Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandma's dead.

What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.

I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.

How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?

"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"

It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.

Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"

The bartender replied: "A shotgun."