Depression jokes

Technically, suicide is murder, and murder is illegal, so if I kill myself, my body should go to jail.

When you suffer from depression and somebody tells you to just cheer up-- Me: My goodness, what an idea! Why didn't I think of this before?

The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are.

The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.

So I treat everyone like garbage.

To the guy who stole my depression medication,

I hope you're happy.

I can tell a joke :)

Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

A depressed boy went to high five a tree, guess what the tree did?

The tree left him hanging.

Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?

Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.

My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.

What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?

Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.

Depression, I got it.

A girlfriend, don't got it.

A life, don't got it.

Help, got it.

Friends, don't got it.

Family, I got it.

Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!

What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?

My clothes don't hang themselves...

How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."

Are you suicide? Cause I'm tryna commit to you.

my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.

So I stabbed him. Now we wait.

Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and feel better.

There was always that one specific person you thought ruined your life, but it turns out your life has always been ruined by you being in it.

A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

What do you call depressed Sesame Street?

Emo's World.

If it's true what they say and I quote, "God never gives you more than you can handle," then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.