Depression jokes
Why are we depressed? Is it because of that bully in your school, or because you have acne? How about when you listen to your sad song playlist? Maybe it's because you have no friends? Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake? T^T
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope...
There's nothing else that can beat up dog.
What's up, dog?
Just my depression!
My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.
I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
Being sad is my only happiness.
When you realize you have depression, and depression realizes how stupid you were.
Why are you sad?
I’m depressed. I know black people could cry.
Is depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle.
I wake up in the morning and I suck my teeth.
I was watching my boyfriend's dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When I looked down, he appeared to be dead.
My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do, so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said, "You know, your dog's been a little depressed lately..."
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
I have no friends, but then I realize my true friends are anxiety and depression.
What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital?
... A FLATLINE!
Website: Submit a joke :-)
Me: My life.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.